I had chosen YELLOW for Dakota's color. She is the 6th lady for my project. Soon this project will come to a close, but for now, here is Dakota's story!
"Every person has their own belief of what a baby is. My belief is that once implanted, it’s a baby.
My partner and I weren’t careful at first, we just assumed we wouldn’t get pregnant and took no precautions. I was not in the greatest state of mind, and was doing things that were harming my health and body.
January of 2020 I took a pregnancy test after being 2 weeks late, this however didn’t come as a surprise to me as my body was never regular and never did what a ‘proper’ body should do. It came back positive, assuming it was a false I carried on, got another test a few days later, another positive. Being so young we didn’t tell anybody, too scared to be shunned or judged, and decided we’d make it on our own with no help, a foolish mistake. Our first child didn’t make it past 3 weeks in the womb after we found out before my body turned on my sweet angel and myself. We were devastated, we mourned a child that was not yet a child, but had a heartbeat. I quit the things that were harming me, blamed myself for the passing of our angel and tried to move on.
Again in March of 2021, the same thing happens, still being young and dumb we decide to go at it by ourselves. The same tragedy occurred 3 weeks later and left us wondering if we ever would have a child, why was my body rejecting the one thing I ever wanted in life. There were many days where my partner was my biggest comfort, and others where I couldn’t stand to see him because his face reminded me that I couldn’t carry his child full term. I turned to art and poetry for a long time, to commemorate and remember my two beautiful angels. I spent countless nights wondering what their genders were, how their cries would sound and why I never got to hold their little hands. 3 became my least favorite number.
I learned that 50 - 75% of first trimester miscarriages are chemical pregnancies, which if you aren’t familiar is a miscarriage either shortly after implantation or before the fifth week of gestation, and are most commonly due to genetic or chromosomal abnormalities of the embryo.
Towards the end of February this year I started to experience extreme nausea, my heart yearned for it to be my rainbow. But my mind wouldn’t let me get my hopes up, I ignored the signs because I didn’t want to feel the pain of being wrong. March 2nd, I went to see my mom, we talked and she took me to buy a test. I took it and she stood by my side, holding me before it revealed that I was in fact pregnant again. We immediately booked an ultrasound for that week, I was 8 weeks, further than I had ever got before. These last 8 months have been filled with intense fear, excitement, anxiety, prayers and happiness. A true rollercoaster. Now I am 8 months along, between 32 and 34 weeks, and my daughter is due to arrive in the next month.
Micaiah Alani George-Fair, my to-be earth side angel, my savior and the most important presence in my life. I’ve never really been a believer but God knew you were the one. I have never known a love so deep and profound until I saw your face in the 3D ultrasound screen🤍"
Here is beautiful Micaiah.
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